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Ohio Domestic Violence Network would like to invite
men and boys to become involved in our collective effort to stop domestic
violence, sexual violence, dating violence, and family violence.
We welcome all men and boys that take a personal pledge never to commit,
condone nor remain silent about inimate partner violence. Please
note that this section is under construction and will continue to change
and grow; please check back on a regular basis. You will find training
information, articles, ways to become involved, and useful web site links
on this page.
What Makes A Good
Male Ally?
During the Men’s Pre-workshop at the 2002 This
Far By Faith conference, women participants were asked to describe
one thing that would make a “good male ally” against domestic
violence. The male participants appreciated this opportunity to listen
to women and practice not interrupting. Below are the responses to this
question.
A man is a good ally when:
- He is able to take direction and leadership in domestic violence
work from women.
- He understands that women’s need to be empowered is to a threat
to his strength as a man, but rather an additional strength.
- He listens to women and has a willingness to “call out”
other men on their issues.
- He does not try to confine the women he the women he is supporting
or define the problems that they share with him.
- He is willing to take a stand on the issue of domestic violence by
being vocal about it.
- He changes his perception, so that he knows that women who remain
in relationships with batterers are not stupid.
- He helps other men in positions of authority to realize that when
children of single mothers have behavioral problems, it doesn’t
mean that they “need a man in the house.” This type of thinking
is often encountered in male schools principals, and it pressures women
and children to stay in abusive situations.
- He models behavior for his friends and other men by letting others
see his example.
- He works to help unburden other men of the misconception that women
who speak honestly about male violence are “attacking men.”
- He is willing to hear women’s reality “full out”,
because he realizes that there are aspects of this reality that he will
not know about.
- He is not struggling with his own manhood, and does not need to prove
that he’s a man.
- He is a non-judgmental partner; which implies equality and respect.
- He understands that women know that all men are not batterers.
- He is developing groups where men can rally against domestic violence
actively and publicly denounce it.
- He doesn’t assume that another man can’t be a batterer
because of his high position in a church, government, organization,
etc.
- He has done his personal work to become aware of his own issues relating
to the issue of domestic violence.
- He listens, but doesn’t try to “fix” the problem
by himself.
Copyright © 2002 by the New York State Office for
the Prevention of Domestic Violence. Reprinted from NYS OPDV Bulletin
Volume 14, Number 2, Page 12, Fall 2002 with permission of the Black Church
and Domestic Violence Institute, Spring 2002, Volume 2, Issue 1. Reprinted
here with permission of the Faith Trust Institute.
To Download a printable version of "What Makes
A Good Male Ally?" Click
Here.
10 Things Men
Can Do To End Men's Violence Against Women
- Acknowledge and understand how sexism, male dominance
and male privilege lay the foundation for all forms of violence against
women.
- Examine and challenge our individual sexism and the
role that we play in supporting men who are abusive.
- Recognize and stop colluding with other men by getting
out of our socially defined roles, and take a stance to end violence
against women.
- Remember that our silence is affirming. When we choose
not to speak out against men’s violence, we are supporting it.
- Educate and re-educate our sons and other young men
about our responsibility in ending men’s violence against women.
- "Break out of the man box"- Challenge traditional
images of manhood that stop us from actively taking a stand to end violence
against women.
- Accept and own our responsibility that violence against
women will not end until men become part of the solution to end it.
We must take an active role in creating a cultural and social shift
that no longer tolerates violence against women.
- Stop supporting the notion that men’s violence
against women is due to mental illness, lack of anger management skills,
chemical dependency, stress, etc… Violence against women is rooted
in the historic oppression of women and the outgrowth of the socialization
of men.
- Take responsibility for creating appropriate and effective
ways to develop systems to educate and hold men accountable.
- Create systems of accountability to women in your community.
Violence against women will end only when we take direction from those
who understand it most, women.
To Download a printable version of "10 Thinks Men
Can Do To End Men's Violence Against Women" Click
Here.
Links To Websites
for Engaging Men & Boys
Dads and Daughters:
Family Violence Prevention:
Men's Work:
Anti-Sexism:
Anti-Racism:
GLBT Issues:
Nonviolence:
To download a printable version of these website links please Click
Here
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