The law says that just about anything an abuser does to hurt or threaten to hurt you or your children is illegal and must be stopped. This includes everything from hitting, slapping, or kicking you to coming at you with a weapon or threatening to hurt or kill you or your children. The law specifically defines domestic violence as one of three things:

1. Physical abuse;

2. Threats that put you in fear of immediate and serious harm (this means that you were fearful that the harm would occur right now-- not tonight, tomorrow, or next week);

3. Any act with respect to a child that would result in that child being abused.

Domestic violence is not a means of obtaining temporary custody unless there is some actual violence or threat of immediate violence to you or the children. A threat to 'take the kids,' name-calling, arguing that involves no violence or threat of violence are not sufficient grounds for temporary custody due to domestic violence. Furthermore, domestic violence is not a means of obtaining a quick and cheap divorce.

You don't have to be married to the abuser to obtain legal protection. The law applies to any household or family member. Household or family member is defined as: a spouse, an ex-spouse, a parent or child, a step-parent or step-child, other persons related to the abuser who reside in the home or have resided in the home with the abuser in the last 5 years including: boyfriends, girlfriends, or their children who are living together in the last 5 years, and those who have children in common even when they have never lived together or paternity has not been established. In Ohio, the law also protects same-sex partners. Danger often increases once a marriage or relationship ends. This is often the time when legal protection is most needed for your safety. You have basically two legal options when domestic violence has occurred: criminal charges and/or civil remedies. The Criminal Option Potential benefits of criminal charges include: a temporary protection order mandating that the abuser stay away from you and your children throughout the criminal proceedings, possible fine and/or jail time for the abuser, court-ordered treatment/counseling for the abuser, and possible probation for the abuser.
If you choose to file a criminal charge, you will need to contact the prosecutor's office in your county--a local domestic violence hotline can give you this number. You do not need an attorney to file criminal charges. A criminal charge is the STATE-vs.-the abuser, not you-vs.-the abuser, but you will be the key witness for the state. This means that the state is holding the abuser accountable for the violence.

Once you file a criminal charge and the prosecutor accepts it, the case belongs to the state. Therefore, only the state can make the decision to drop the case at any point. Even if you later want to drop the criminal charge, the state may not allow you to do this because it is the state's case and the state's decision.

Prosecutors' offices around the state vary greatly: some have 'no-drop policies,' and some will drop charges at the victim's request. A trained advocate in your area should know the philosophy of your prosecutor and may be available to help you through this process and to provide moral support. Contact your local domestic violence hotline for assistance.

Procedures in a criminal case may be very slow as prosecutors and police officers gather evidence for the case. An advocate can offer invaluable support at this time.

Remember that the criminal protection order lasts only until the case is resolved. This means that you could lose your protection and not know it (if the case is settled in a plea bargain, for example). Your advocate can be a valuable resource and may be able to keep you informed about the case. Still, to ensure your protection, it is often wise to consider civil action as well.

The Civil Option

If you choose to pursue civil action as a victim of domestic violence, you can receive a protection order mandating the abuser to stay away from you and your children for up to five years. Through this protection order (if granted), you may receive: use of the residence (the abuser may be evicted even if the home is in the abuser's name), temporary custody of the child(ren) with visitation arrangements, court-ordered treatment or counseling for the abuser, alimony/child support, division of household items, and/or use of a car.

Unlike criminal charges, you may dismiss a civil petition at any time for personal reasons. A domestic violence advocate may be available to help you understand your local civil court and offer moral support. No matter what you choose to do, remember that a protection order obtained either through criminal or civil court is a piece of paper. It does give you back some control because the abuser may go to jail if the protection order is violated. Keep in mind, though, that some abusers feel challenged by such an order. You know better than anyone how your abuser will react to legal action. If you think it will put you in more danger, you may choose not to pursue legal action. Either way, remember to talk with a domestic violence advocate about devising a safety plan for you and your children.

Many victims feel that the safest thing for them to do is to pursue both criminal and civil action. It is a good idea to consider the civil protection order regardless of whether or not you have a criminal protection order because the civil protection order lasts longer and offers more relief.

The United States Constitution provides what is called 'Full Faith and Credit,' which means that once you have a criminal or a civil protection order, it follows you wherever you go--even if you cross county or state lines. If you do travel, it is a good idea to contact the local police where you are staying to inform them that you have a protection order and that you may need them to enforce it. This may make the police more responsive should you need their assistance.

The services of a legal domestic violence advocate can be invaluable whether or not you choose to pursue legal action. The legal advocate can walk you through the processes involved, go to court with you, provide additional resources to you, and explain in detail your options and the philosophies of the courts in your area.

For example, although the remedies available are the same in every county in the state, some counties will always make an abuser spend time in jail on a criminal charge, while some counties will always award probation. Similarly, in civil cases, some courts tend to issue five-year protection orders, and some courts issue only six-month protection orders. Your advocate can tell you what your local courts do, and this can help you plan future action to stay safe.

Studies have shown that obtaining a protection order may bolster a victim's self-esteem and feelings of security. A 1994 study found that nearly 75% of victim's had increased feelings of well-being soon after an order was issued. Thousands and thousands of women have used the law to help increase their safety. You can too.